Tuesday, September 14, 2010

I Don't Usually Do This, But...

I'm here to discuss something very important. Its a subject that is near and dear to me. Its personal. Its important. Its no laughing matter, that's for sure. Its my hair. Its turning gray. Now for those of you who just gasped and said "it couldn't be! you are too young for that!" you are correct, I am. I'm very young. I'm barely legal. I find myself looking in the mirror on a daily basis and thinking to myself "you are one hot young thang lady." And then I see my hair. I shake my head in disbelief and I continue on with my day. With that nagging notion in the back of my mind, tearing at my heart strings. How in the hell am I going gray?

Seriously, this is a serious question. At what age did you start going gray? Because my mother started going gray at the age of 40'something. That's bullshit. I haven't even had a child yet. I'm not even married yet. I swear to the heavens above it is THIS JOB that is making me go gray. Is that even possible? That a job and stress can make you go gray? I'm looking for someone or something to blame b/c homegurl ain't happy about the recent set of events. Let me lay this out for you.

I notice about 2 months ago that I had some gray hair. No biggie maybe a few strands, I can deal with that right? But mostly it was really blonde hair that I was seeing. It was summer, the sun bleaches me out every year, whatevs, Nothing to get all worked up about. Then about a month ago I noticed that it might be possible that those reaaaaallly blonde hairs were in fact gray. So I peered into the mirror one sunny morning and pulled one (read 10+) out just to check, and double check, and triple check. They were in fact...gray. Hmmm that's weird. But still, not terrible. Then it happened. About a week ago, Coal Miner says to me "Baby, you've got A LOT of gray hair. When are you going to call Cornholio (my stylist) to get fix that?"
.....
.....
.....
Yea that's me pausing and preventing myself from launching across the the front seat of the car to rip Coal Miner's jugular out. I respond so pleasantly HE'S IN FUCKING LONDON OKAY? YOU THINK I HAVEN'T NOTICED MY GRAY HAIR? SIT AND SPIN ASSHOLE!

This morning, this morning was bad *shaking my head*. I looked in the mirror and it is quite possible that the entire portion of my non-bleached roots are going gray. I really don't know what to do, besides the obvious which is dye dye dye (I sound like the Republicans "Drill drill drill"). I just can't come to grips with this...its to early...its to soon...its not right...its...its...the end of an era. Gone are the days of dying my hair for fun, and just b/c I could. Here are the days of dying my hair to cover my gray. What a sad, sad day indeed. Screw you aging, you suck serious donkey nuts. *as I flip my hair to one side hoping no one sees that tinge of gray in my side part*

7 comments:

Naomi said...

whatevs...i've been growing gray since my teens...and I HAVE BLACK HAIR! Soon enough, I'll be like my mom and turn into Morticia and dye my hair jet black.

Khak said...

I feel your pain. I just got my "gray" touched up and dyed last week. Highlights no longer cover it. and my Stylist yelled out loud, "WOW, look at your gray coming in!". Ouch. and Yes, she's younger than me.

MDubs said...

@Homey - I CANNOT BE MORTICIA! And don't worry I won't let you either.

@Khak - betch betta watch herself or she could become "tip less" :)

shurrri k said...

All I gotta say is welcome to the club betch :) LOL - yup das right sista and sorry but I hear bleaching makes it worse...

MDubs said...

@shurri K - I will not listen to your wise words about bleaching. I plan to bleach tomorrow. *putting my nose up in the air* :)

Ashley said...

Ummm....no need to complain. I started sprouting greys at 25 and I have dark hair! The I got pregnant and the numbers doubled..now I'm a parent and work full time......them numbers just get more abundant. At least you can pass them off ;)

Amber D. said...

I noticed (and ripped out) my first gray hair at age 25. Now, I can either buy groceries or get my hair colored, and since my weight obviously hasn't gone down, the little gray bastards decided this is the time for conquest, and have invaded my scalp. Someone told me they liked my highlights the other day. I haven't gotten highlights since February. :/