Monday, May 9, 2011

Jazz Hands

I was laying in bed last night and was going through the day's events in my head. It was Mother's Day, we spent the day with Coal Miner's family looking at spots for our rehearsal dinner, showing his rents the wedding site, and eating dinner as a family to celebrate CM's Mom. All in all, a pretty good day. The sun was shining, we were productive, it was a good day. So why did I have this dread filling my head. This overwhelming urge to bury my head in my pillow and sleep forever. Was it depression? I think not. Depression is a serious disease and the term is hugely overused and under appreciated. Was I sad? Nah, I'm not really a sad person. Was it unhappiness? Hmph. Could it be? Could I be unhappy? No way. How could I even begin to think I was unhappy? I have my health, an amazing man, a supportive and loving family, a great group of friends, a roof over my head, a job that pays me well, the respect of my peers. I just felt like I could go on and on listing the reasons as to how I could not possibly be unhappy. And in that moment I made a decision. Instead of thinking of the overwhelming tasks that lie ahead of me each week, maybe I just approach things a little differently. To ensure I stay on task I've decided I'm going to chronicle my journey on Tumblr. Feel free to follow along if you feel so inclined. I'll basically just be jotting down notes each day as to why I'm happy, why I should be happy, and how I'm feeling. An online journal of sorts. I haven't written in my diary in over a year. I miss it. I loved writing in my diary. Going back, reading the happenings, seeing my feelings, reminiscing over events. So I'm going to treat Tumblr as my diary. Maybe that's a good thing, maybe it isn't, but hell I figure you should try everything at least once right?

Here's to Happy Journaling - wish me luck.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Yea, You Aren't a Celebrity.

There's been a recent outbreak of engagements! At least one every other week or two. It’s kind of insane. I'm all about people getting married, but lets make sure we are getting married for the right reasons and not just b/c everyone else is doing it (or because someone gave you an ultimatum). Maybe I'm only noticing b/c I'm engaged, but it’s a little bizarre. Since Coal Miner and I got engaged in October there have been 8+ new engagements. That's a lot, dontcha think? Just seems a little weird to me.

CM and I set out to plan our bachelor/ette parties a few months ago. My MOHs are planning mine, and CM's brother is planning his (God help us all, this kid thinks money grows on trees since he doesn't have to make his own). I like to think of myself as a thoughtful person (most of the time). I was really concerned with the expense of my bachelorette party (as was CM). My MOHs wanted to go to Miami, the Keys, or NYC. But once we started adding all of that up, it just seemed like it was a bit excessive to ask my friends and family to spend $900+ on my bachelorette weekend. Never mind the fact that they would also have to take off work. So if you start adding the expense for my bachelorette party, bridal showers, and the wedding itself (dress, shoes, hotel, hair/makeup), it's a little much. So I went the inexpensive yet fun route. You can't go wrong with going to the beach can you?

But recently I've started hearing all of these newly engaged folks talking about their bachelor/ette parties and it’s pretty amusing. Vegas. Paris. Italy. Really? A $1k/night suite for 4 nights? A table at Tao? Take a week off of work? They have to pay for your room? Maybe part of your airfare? Really? I'm sorry I think you may have confused yourself with Kim Kardashian. Baby girl you ain't got her butt and you sure as shit aren't starring in homemade porn with Ray J, so maybe you should layoff the baller mentality and snap back into reality. Perhaps be a little less selfish and start being a little more selfless. Think about the big picture and the costs that your wedding party is incurring. Because when it comes time for one of your friends to get married I bet you aren't going to be so excited about using your limited vacay and hard earned cash to go on some last minute getaway to celebrate the fact that someone is mourning their last days being single. Doesn't that defeat the purpose of marriage anyway? Who the eff is sad about getting married? You definitely shouldn't be getting married if that's the case. And if you want to go on vacation with your girlfriends, plan a little girls trip. Don't use your wedding as an excuse to get people to pay for your vacation. You just look like cheap ass with a princess complex to me.

I know people are going to say I'm jealous. I'm not jealous. I've got the funds. I've got the vacation. I just don't have the balls to be that selfish. I'm convinced that my friends/family will thank me for that little gem when it’s all said and done.