I don't know why I haven't written in so long. I think it may be due to the fact that I've been keeping a journal. So much has happened in the past four months that its hard to know where to begin. The man front is stale...no new men...no reconciling with the ex either. I'm feeling as if I'm getting in a better place about the whole thing though. I'm starting to realize that I don't have to make excuses for him anymore and in turn, his excuses are lame. I've decided to limit the communication b/c I'm the only one who communicates and as well all know, you can't make someone love you or want to be with you. So I decided while on my family vacation this week that I would begin to back away, embrace being single, and get a new mindset. This is his loss, money is his first love, and I don't fit into the picture. This isn't sparkling new news, its just that I've finally cleared the clouds from my head and realized I need to move on. Not necessarily dating, but at least recognizing that there are many many men out there and many who will love me unconditionally. They will love my family, they will want to meet my friends, and I will always be a priority. Its pretty simple actually. I must give some kudos to Jane Green's latest book "The Beach House" which allowed me to fully embrace this new mindset. She pretty much described the ex to a T and I couldn't escape the reality of the situation.
Next topic, buying a place. I've started looking again, but I don't think I'm ready. I think I need to really sort out my personal life before I start taking on a mortgage. AND I need to figure out if I'm going to continue living here. I like this place, but its just not me. I need to get myself overseas or somewhere with a clean slate. So, I figure I should wait it out a while and figure out what I want. Oh, I've started writing that infamous book. Sigh, its going okay, not as fast as I expected. I actually think my life is somewhat dull, but hey, its a start right?
Okay, I'll start writing on here again. This is extremely therapeutic and I forgot how wonderful it is!!