Monday, January 4, 2010

A West Virginia Education - Part 1

Yes, you read that correctly. AND its a real sign. I found it posted to a wall at the lodge in Silvercreek while visiting Snowshoe over the NYE holiday. So this was my first experience snowboarding and I must admit, it was colder than hail (try -27 with the wind chill) but I had a freaking blast. I actually got so confident on the board that I offered to go night skiing. This was of course prior to me falling that one last time and starting to cry at the realization that I'm not a professional snowboarder and should perhaps call it a day when your arms begin to shake so badly that you can't actually pull yourself up off of the ground longer. But that's not why were are here today. Today my friends, we are here to discuss my West Virginia experience.

Now we all know I really wanted to go to WVU but my dreams were shot when the lovely folks at the Financial Aid office said they were not willing to help an out-of-state sista out, so say goodbye to that dream Megs unless I wanted to be over $120K in debt leaving undergrad. Yea, not so much. At any rate, that has been my only exposure to WV, and it was for like one fantastically amazing day so it doesn't even count. But this, this was AWESOME. Let's me start this entire thing off by saying that it would be completely impossible for me to complete my entire experience in one blog, so this is going to be discussed in "parts." Hence the reason this is entitled Part 1. Sweet Jezus I really should give you guys more credit shouldn't I? Okay so let me set the scene for you.

Coal Miner and I embark on our 5 hour journey from the 703 to the 304 with me having absolutely no expectations at all of our little snowboarding adventure. Well except the fact that I'm certain I'm going to freeze my size 4 a$$ off. Anyway, we go through Nova with a quickness and start hitting the mountains. Still nothing out of the ordinary. We hit 81, still nothing, then the turnoff happens. We start heading down those country highways. We hit the national forest, which contained several curious signs such as "Green forests are FUN forests"...ummm what? What does that even mean? Okay that's fine, keep driving. "Copper Kettles call 1-304-xxx-xxx"..ummmm okay, I mean what do I need a copper kettle for again? And why is this sign in a national forest? Okay that's fine, keep driving.

We go up the mountain and down the mountain and back again (and I almost puked) and we hit a little railroad town called Cass. THIS my friends is where the fun begins. We turn a corner and we are admiring the old railroad station, the town, and how cute the houses are, and there it is...a big black bear handing by its jugular on a branch in front of someones house (held up by brown rope). I then scream "THERE'S A BEAR HANGING FROM THAT TREE!!!" It was real. A real black bear. And there was a pool of blood below it in the snow. Never seen anything like it before in my life. I mean who kills bears, and prepares them for gutting in their front yard on the side of a hill in full view of every single person coming from VA to Snowshoe, WV?!!? Oh that's right, THIS GUY DOES! Unbelievable. Took me a good 10 minutes to recover from this sight. I'm pretty sure I said "Oh My God, there was a bear hanging from the tree. Did you see that? I mean did you see that?" about 15 times to CM. And I couldn't possibly not tell CM's best friend and wife when they arrived. If I recall it was like the 5th thing I said to them after "Yay you are here!! We were getting worried." and "How was the drive?" and "Yea we don't have any cell reception either." then "DID YOU SEE THAT BEAR HANGING FROM ITS JUGULAR...with the POOL OF BLOOD in the snow? DID YOU? OMG, DID YOU? I mean it was a bear and it was dead." Yea, that's how my mind works. CM was not phased by this in the least bit. He was like "Baby, its West Virginia, and people eat bears. " then he laughed. Yes, now its funny at the time just straight up shocking.

Okay next topic, front porches and outhouses. Apparently in West Virginia its completely okay to have leather recliners, couches, refrigerators, old washing machines, and your clothes line on your front porch. The most confusing part to me was the clothesline. I don't know if you knew this folks, but it was like 10 degrees outside. I'm fairly certain your clothes are going to freeze, not dry. But maybe I'm just crazy. Maybe I don't know the ways of the clothesline, but I consider myself a pretty smart chick. One house we passed had over 6 pairs of jeans hanging up. Jeans are the HARDEST items of clothing to get dry, even in the dryer, so tell me how exactly they are going to get dry in sub zero temps? Hell, maybe I need to look into this!! I might be able to save myself some cash on the power bill.

Oh and did you know people in WV still have outhouses. Yes, YES, I saw several of them. I genuinely asked CM in a very cute voice "What's with all of these shacks outside of people's houses? Do they hold wood or something?" To which he replies "Those are outhouses baby." DOOOO WHAAATTTT????? You mean people still tinkle outside? Sweet Jezus in the morning. So anyway, this is just the beginning folks, stay tuned for Part 2...I promise it will be a doozey.

UPDATE: LOOK WHAT I FOUND!!! I love that my friends find the same things amusing and take pics. LOVES IT!!!

The house with the Jeans!


Amber D. said...

A fucking bear!? My daughter asked me the other day if people ate bears, and I told her no. Hell I'm from Texas and we eat alligators and snakes and squirrels (hold the Waterboy comments), but a bear seems a little weird. Damn Yankees. :)

Can't wait for part two. And did you use an outhouse??

LiLu said...


Why would you want a permanent porta-potty in your yard? Isn't that why they're, yanno... PORTABLE?

MDubs said...

I did not use said outhouses, however I regret this decision now. Mostly for the "story" factor I could have produced if I used an outhouse. *Le sigh*