No Way, Yes Way, No Way, YES WAY

Okay I live in Northern Virginia, as everyone knows, and if you didn't well now you do. Anyway, shiz is expensive. Like hella expensive. Gas, groceries, housing, cars, you name it, its expensive. Like for instance I heart Velveeta cheese slices. Its $5 for a package of Velveeta slices at the Giant (which is our "cheapest grocery store"). However, in the Va Bizzle, where my mother resides, its only $3. Can someone please explain to me how that cheese became $2 more expensive in 200 miles? Did it really cost you $2 extra dollars to ship that cheese 200 miles? And I'm pretty sure we (meaning DC) are closer to that processing plant than Va Bizzle, so again I ask you how this is possible. Its possible b/c the median household income in Northern Virginia is $102,700 and in Virginia Beach its $67,900. Yep, 2 hours and $30,000 later I pay $2 more for cheese than my mother does. But lets get down to the point b/c I'm not here to talk about cheese, I'm here to talk about Valentine's Day.

Does anyone else find this holiday to be foul? If Coal Miner doesn't tell me that he loves me on any other days besides VDay I will kick him in the shins. I guess I get it. Its a day to celebrate your love. But I celebrate my love every single day with a glass of wine and wham bam thank you ma'am. So take that Valentine's Day. However, and you knew there was one, if Coal Miner were interested in purchasing me something for said foul holiday, I wouldn't be opposed to this. I mean our anniversary HAPPENS to coincide with said foul holiday (okay its like 5 days later but don't be so dayum technical, for the love of God) so I can't say that buying me a little something (read MORE DIAMONDS) would be such a silly idea. Honestly, I think its a great idea. We can celebrate the day of love, our fantastic relationship, the anniversary of our meeting, and whatever else we want to lump into the holiday.

I'm also here to talk about the fact that the type of house I want in Northern Virginia is not attainable at the current moment b/c its over $700K here and only $250K in the rest of the United States of America. I know you are probably telling me to shut my face right now b/c probably make a good amount of money and if I really hate it so much I should move, but I kind of like DC. Nah, I don't, but its good to try and convince yourself every now and then that you really really enjoy your 11-mile, 45+minute commute. And your 10+hour work days aren't so bad. I mean who doesn't love getting to work at 8:30 and leaving at 8pm? That's a good time! Oh and not working out anymore is super awesome. Coal Miner did say that he liked big booties, so never fear my love, my secretary's spread is a' growin'! Overall, I've met some amazing people here in DC so I can't knock it too much and I really do (sadistically) like my job and the folks I work with/for, so its not all bad. I just wish I didn't have to plan my trips to the grocery store/gas station/visiting friends around a permanent rush hour.

Back to Valentines Day since that's why we are really here. Coal Miner shouldn't have bought me diamonds for Christmas or let me pick out engagement rings b/c now I'm antsy. I find myself looking at diamonds online - watches with diamonds, bracelets with diamonds, diamond rings, engagement rings (a lot), oy vey, make it stop. And to answer that, the way to make it stop is to buy me more right? No I'm kidding, I don't' really need any more diamonds (need being the operative word here), so really don't buy me anything for Valentine's Day Coal Miner. No really, I think its a silly holiday. No, I do, I really do. Wait you do want to buy me something? Well shucks...I mean if you want to buy me something...I mean I guess I couldn't refuse a gift.