Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Birthday Treats

Yep, it was my birthday last Tuesday, the big 3-Oh. But don't worry, I'm all going 29 v2.0 on people's tail and plan on doing that for a while. Nah, just kidding. I could care less that I turned 30. I'm embracing the ole 30's. For serious, my 20's kind of sucked the big one (besides meeting Coal Miner) so I'm looking forward to what my 30's will hold. I just bought a house, Coal Miner moved in, we are supposedly getting hitched (read, where is my ring bih?!?!?!), so it should definitely be interesting.

As a side note, Coal Miner threw me two, read that 2!, surprise parties. One HH w/all of my DC peeps and then one dinner with all of my 757 peeps. Best of both worlds, can't complain!

Pic from the HH - he's the best...


Which leads us to Coal Miner's birthday in October. He will also be the big 3-0 and will no longer be able to call me "an old hag", the f'er. Last night while laying in bed, drifting off to sleep, he says "I know what I want for my birthday." I really don't care b/c I already know what I'm going to get him so I entertain him and ask "Oh yea? So what do you want Birthday Boy?" And he says, with gusto, "a hole in one!" I laugh and let him know that just b/c he has been drinking his face off at Top Golf recently I find it highly unlikely that he will be getting a hole in one anytime soon. He laughs and says "No you old hag. I mean I want to do it in the butt."

I flip on the light, sit straight up in bed, and exclaim "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY?" all in a matter of seconds.

I know, I know I shouldn't be discussing this with you. But I mean seriously now. Who says that at 11:26pm, on a Monday, when I'm trying to get myself to sleep before I need to wake up 6 hours later to go to work? Could we have saved this for a discussion over a glass or 4 of wine? Apparently not, apparently he wanted to discuss it right at that moment. He also didn't seem to find anything wrong with what he had just asked either. He didn't seem to think I should bat an eyelash at such a request.

Back when I was 23 I probably wouldn't have. No I'm serious. I probably would have been like "Awesome. Hope you have some good lube." Maybe I am turning into an old hag. But I just don't know that I want his pein shoved in my tail pipe. Again, shouldn't be sharing, but homeboy ain't small. This could possibly lead to a very painful and damaging experience. I'm sharing too much, I realize this, but hell you guys love the sharing, I know you do. I figure Coal Miner and our sexual endeavors should probably be off limits right? Yea, yea, just don't share with him that I told you okay?

Anyway, I neither said yes or no last night. I just laughed it off after my immediate outburst. But I then laid in bed awake thinking "October 16, you need to just hold off for a little bit. Okay friend?"

4 comments:

Naomi said...

this was just on an episode ofEntourage. and um, WOW. Does CM know you are writing his birthday wishes to the world? Oh and yeah, he asked me at your birthday that he wanted a pole dance too...so start practicing girl

MDubs said...

Oh he knows - I tell him when I'm going to post about him. He found it amusing. :) Imma have to come over your house and use your pole. I'm too lazy to practice on mine. <3

J.A.P.P. said...

I hope you Mom and Dad don't read this... Love you and your stories....

MDubs said...

LOL - Soulmate they wouldn't even know where to find it :) Love and miss you!!!