Thursday, August 12, 2010


So Coal Miner purchased a home with his ex a few years back. Said home was purchased with her $25K down from a condo she bought with her previous ex (yep I said that snarky). They then entered into an IO (aka Interest Only) loan on their first trust, and a 10/1 ARM on their second. For those of you who aren't familiar with mortgage loans and what that means, let me break it down for you. THEY STILL OWE EVERYTHING THEY BORROWED. And when the ARM kicks in 6 short years, they will probably have a 15% interest rate instead of the 6.5% they currently have.

Problem No. 1 - The house is worth almost $100K less than what they paid for it originally.

Problem No. 2 - The slunt refuses to sell the house and take a cash hit due to the fact that she hasn't saved a dime of money over the past four years even though Coal Miner has given her a portion of his tax return yearly (to the tune of $4k - $5K) and she has renters living in the house covering the other portion of the mortgage.

Problem No. 3 - The slunt refuses to refi Coal Miner out of the loan b/c she doesn't "want the house either. You aren't getting out of this if I'm not getting out of it. " said all bitchy and condescending

Problem No. 4 - The slunt is in complete and utter denial. She thinks that they will definitely recoup the money from the house, and she will even go as far to say that she believes she will be able to make a profit. "I mean the housing market up here is totally on the up tick. I think we are about to see 2006 prices again!" yes...that is a direct quote

Problem No. 5 - The slunt may not be the sharpest tool in the shed. And I'm not just saying this b/c she is his ex. She really isn't a smart girl. She works for essentially the same mortgage giant that I do (she works for our "little brother" company) and knows nothing about the current housing market, interest rates, how credit works, new legislation around housing programs, government sponsored housing programs, etc. She's a Senior Financial Analyst for God's sake. What exactly are you analyzing over there sista friend?

Problem No. 6 - The slunt has no idea what she wants to do with her life or the house for that matter. Last time Coal Miner was over there (with the appraiser I arranged) she told Coal Miner that she was going to use her pension to live off of, while she went to Nursing School, and trained to be a Firefighter, in Costa Rica. *I'm actually laughing right now as I type that* Does that sound like a sane person to you? Who even says that? You can't start extracting from your pension at 31 years old, let alone live in Costa Rica when you don't speak a lick of Spanish. Bish you never even been to Costa Rica! But you know she "doesn't care about material things." Really is that why you just bought a brand new car and are carrying a Fendi bag?

Problem No. 7 - Her new boyfriend's name is Andrew. Andrew lives in the house. <-- This isn't really a problem, its just strange, and weird, and well strange and weird. So as you can see its a bit of a cluster eff. I just purchased a home, under my own name, and Coal Miner is paying me "rent" until we get rid of the other house. I just don't know how we are ever going to get rid of the damn thing. She's totally a vindictive slunt too, so I bet she finds out we are getting married and I am planning a wedding (with our own funds) so she'll decide that its the PERFECT time to sell, so we'll have to postpone the wedding a shell out $50K for their dumba$ hasty decision. Frustration is my middle name today. I knew this when I met him (he told me on the first date). I knew this when I fell in love with him (he reminded me yet again of his baggage). I knew this when I decided I wanted to marry him and spend the rest of my life with him (he asked me if I was sure I wanted this baggage to stay with us in our marriage). I knew this...I knew..and I don't know, last night I got all upset about it. All weepy, all annoying. I feel bad for Coal Miner. He was just doing what she said was a good idea, and he thought was a good idea at the time. What a costly mistake and costly lesson to learn. Not to mention a heavy weight to carry around constantly. I know it could be a lot worse. I know that...I'm just trying to wrap my head around this giant mortgage and what it means for our financial future. I'm attempting to be understanding and calm, cool, and collected. Its just hard for me to see past this right now. No one seems to have a really good answer, or a non-huge amount of cash dropping way to get ourselves out of this mess either. So I guess I just sit and wait huh? *le sigh* Oh a btw slunt I know you lied on your resume and you never graduated from Mason...and I also happen to know the VP of HR over at your company so imma keep that one close to me until I need to go all ghetto on your tail.

1 comment:

Candice said...

Sounds like you need a vodka and cranberry or three.

Also sounds like a slunt needs her ass beat.