Monday, February 21, 2011

Don't Stop Get it Get it

True story about the other day at lunch. I went to the cafe that is just a few hundred feet from the office. Turns out it was THE best day that DC has experienced, to date, in 2011. Since it was so amazing outside I decided that I would sit outside and take in the wonderfulness that was 70 degrees before we were hit with some random snow storm (like tonight) b/c this place is reedic when it comes to weather. At any rate, it goes a little something like this.

While waiting in line to order my deliciously over priced $15 salad (there were 2 people in front of me, 4 behind me, and 2 at the cash register) in walks a woman dressed as if its 35 degrees outside. Its 70 degrees outside and she has on snow boots, a North Face jacket, complete with fur trimmed hood, and a scarf. Captain snowstorm walks straight up to the cash register, cutting in front of everyone, and proceeds to order (right after the guy at the register finishes).
Guy in Front of Me: *turns around and looks at me* Unbelievable right?
Me: *Shrug*
Guy Behind Me: Are you going to say something?
Guy in Front of Me: Yea, are you going to say anything?
Me: Who me? Why me?
Guy Behind Me: I can't believe this shit.
Guy in Front of Me: Yea you should say something.
Me:Umm dude who cares? We're going to get our food, I'm certain of that.
Lady two behind guy behind me: Did she cut everyone? Oh my god, how rude!
Me: You guys, it isn't that serious. *laughing*
Everyone: *glaring at me*
*
I get to the counter, smile at the woman (who is still waiting for her order), and proceed to order*
Woman at the counter: Did I cut in front of you guys?
Me: Yea, no biggie *smile*
Woman at the counter: Whatever. I don't really care that I cut in front of you. I was just ordering coffee and I'm sure you were ordering a hell of a lot more than that. Am I right?
Me: Alrighty then. Like I said, its really not a big deal. *smile*
Woman at the counter: Well aren't we miss chipper today?
Me: *smiling* Why yes I am! Have a wonderful day and enjoy that coffee ya hear. *smile even bigger*
Woman at the counter: Bitch.

Ohhh Captain Snowstorm, youz a crazy baish. Imma go find a table and act like this never even happened.

*Sitting at my table, enjoying my million dollar salad*

Arabic Woman: Excuse me miss. Are you dining alone?
Me: Yep.
Arabic Woman: Oh great! Would you mind moving to that table over there in the shade so my husband and I can sit in the sun?
Me: *chuckling* Seriously?
Arabic Woman: Well, yes. I mean you are dining alone, what does it matter?
Me: *laughing* Yea I'm not moving, sorry.
Arabic Woman: You really aren't going to move for us?
Me: Nope, sorry.
Arabic Woman: *something in Farsi to her husband* *then under her breath but loud enough for me to hear* Not sure why she is being such a mean woman. Guess its because she's eating by herself. I would be pissed off too. Poor lonely woman.
Me: *smiling* Enjoy your lunch!

Did that bitch seriously just tell me that b/c I was dining alone at lunch I didn't have the same right to eat in the sun as she and her husband? Seriously lady? Seriously? Thanks be to God I have an awesome sense of humor. I literally thought that I might be on an episode of Punk'd or that other show where they test you for 15 minutes to see if you'll explode and then when you don't they give you $100. Sadly, that was not the case. However I sat there and realized I was pretty rad for still smiling, keeping a positive attitude and for not punching those women in their cooters.

5 comments:

Naomi said...

OH HAIL NO! I would've lost my cool at both bitches.

BlythePoo said...

Oh my God, this post is hilarious and completely unbelievable. Had this happened to me, I'd be crying because I'm just the type to cry about something like this. You are awesome. And you deserve the sun!

Alayne said...

I literally almost punched my screen from reading this. What a biotch. Kudos to you for keeping your cool, I probably would have burned her house down. ;)

Anonymous said...

and you didn't go all gee-hoddi on anybody. well done.

MDubs said...

You should all be very proud of me. It was extremely out of character. Must have been the weather. ;)