Okay so Mister Inappropriate is back at it with a vengence. Radio silence for a few days b/c he was apparently out sick. Thanks be to God he is back b/c its been getting a little dull around here lately. The weeping of my new male colleague (I took him to the stairwell to have some privacy. I mean a grown man cannot cry in the middle of the office. So I showed him my secret cry spot.) and knockdown screaming match between my old VP and Director (girlfriend told my old Director "You are a dumb mutherf*cker. I don't know how you have stayed in this company for as long as you have but I'm going to make sure your dumb motherf*cking a$$ is gone by year-end..." GET IT GIRL!) just don't tickle my fancy. Boooorrrriinnnnggg.
Yesterday started with some hacking and nose blowing, followed by sneezing. He swore up and down he felt better, but the snot filled Kleenexes on his desk proved otherwise (an entire box...he went through an entire box yesterday). However, he also mentioned (at level 236.91 on a scale of 1 -10) that he had a huge deliverable that needed to be met by week end so he couldn't possibly miss another day. He stood up from his desk today, while eating lunch and farted...I couldn't make this stuff up if I wanted to...and said "Well that one just slipped out, but it had some volume didn't it?!?!?! " and then laughed until his fat belly giggled like Santa's. Its just really unbelievable. I mean who stands up and farts so loud that I can hear it from my office. I mean that thing had bass. I might have actually felt it move my desk a little, like a small earthquake. I heard him complain to someone on the phone that I'm super loud. AS IF! Dude take a look in the mirror. Or perhaps take those cotton balls out of your ears (dude has more hair coming out of his ear than a chimpanzee) and listen to yourself. I'm almost tempted to think that he knows I'm blogging about him so he wants to give me good material. Well its working Mister Inappropriate. I love you more now than I did yesterday when you showed up all snot nosed and congested. My only hope is that you played out in the ice rain last night and you come in tomorrow with H1N1 and a bag full of one liners.
Off to my meeting that involves wine and cheese so technically I guess it isn't a meeting, but my company scheduled it so f you guys, it IS a meeting if its company sanctioned.