Monday, July 26, 2010

That Ain't French

I had my mid-year review today. All-in-all I'm killing it at work right now. That feels good to say out loud. And not in an "I'm bragging b/c I'm rad" kind of way, but more in a "I work my ass off" kind of way. Speaking of asses, in my midyear today my boss told me I need to "know my audience." I'm such an inquisitive young woman that I asked what exactly it was that he meant by that statement. He let me know that there are two (count it 2) types of people at my paycheck place - cool ones, and not cool ones. Apparently I dropped a F-bomb on a not cool one. In turn, said very uncool person remarked that I was a "phenomenal employee, but that language is not appropriate for the work place." Oh God, go f*ck yourself you ninny. You are a tool, you douche. (keep in mind that is exactly what I was saying in my head while this was being explained to me) I speak this way when complaining about your non-working ass b/c I'm stuck doing the job of 3 people when you can barely do the job of one. Or maybe I'm complaining about the fact that everyone I work with thinks they are more important than they actually happen to be. Or maybe I just like cussing. What's the problem with that huh? HOWEVER, I understand. I get it. I do. I just...I just...I don't know how to stop. I've had a potty mouth since I can remember. Hell I even lost my car for a week in high school b/c I couldn't stop cussing (my dad caught me cussing, long story short, he took the car until I "learned my lesson" - look how well that turned out). I cuss like a freight train. Anyone who knows me, knows that fact. It sort of just comes with the territory. But I've decided I'm going to attempt to use code words for all of my foul mouthed habits and hope that maybe I can kick this "problem". It will be hard b/c I don't think people fully understand and/or appreciate what I mean until I include an explicative. But hell maybe I can get the point across without 'em. ORRR maybe people will call me a puss behind my back, whatever, I'm going to try it out and see what happens (note I think this will last all of one day, maybe not even 24 hours. Come on this isn't my first rodeo!).

New Code Words:

Shut the front door - I've been using this for a while now, and while amusing it just doesn't hold the same feeling...ehhh I'll go with it

Betch - Please don't make me explain that term. It's also currently in use, but again, just not holding the same weight.

Flippin' - gey, but I'm going with it.

Clown - instead of ass hat or ass clown, I'll just go with clown.

I'm starting to shake. I don't think I can stop saying f*ck...its my favorite word. I use it every three seconds. I know its not lady like, so you can shut your face, but I like the word f*ck. Its fun! It holds great meaning. Its strong. It conveys my point. F*ck what am I going to do?!?! If only I could speak with that little asterisk. Or have someone follow me around and go "BLEEP" each time I cuss. This is going to be a very very long week....


Khak said...

This is too funny. I feel your pain. I have incorporated flippin' in the past year and believe me people know what you really mean to say. My mom's eyebrows raise every time I say it. Good Luck this week!

MDubs said...

I've totally already failed - HOWEVER I've cut down the potty mouth tremendously. I'm sort of proud, lol.