Monday, June 20, 2011

Woah Horsey!

I think everyone has days that you wish would just end right? Like Mondays. Most Mondays are horrid. They drag ass. They are a reminder of why you wish you were a self-made millionaire or maybe just a heir to someones fortune. The bring the constant reminder that you will always be tied to a desk. Sigh. But today, I had a moment. A moment where I started realizing I was wishing my days away. I wish away the week so I can get to the weekend. But in the process of doing that I'm wishing my life away. Each night Coal Miner and I get about 2 - 3 hours together. Then its time to hit the sack and do it all again. I spend most of my days commuting to/from my office and working my tail off while I'm there. While that isn't the ideal scenario, I shouldn't be wishing my days away. What if something terrible were to happen tomorrow? What if I never got that day back? I notice each day a new gray hair, another line in my face, an extra pound I can't explain. I'm getting older. And that's a hard pill to swallow.

I don't want to get to get older. I don't want gray hair. I don't want sagging skin. I don't want to be old. I was at CVS on Thursday and an elderly man was picking up his prescriptions. He could barely walk, was hunched over, had a brown bag filled with multiple prescriptions, he looked miserable. I don't want that for myself or for anyone I love. Getting older sucks. And here I am wishing all of my days away and getting older each time I wish one of them gone.

Do you wish your days away? I think most people are guilty of that. I realize when people tell me "You two have a whole lifetime together" that we do, but what if we don't? What if its all taken from me and I didn't do my damnedest to make sure I reveled in every moment of it? I wonder if maybe I chose a path for myself that I can't escape. The money, the cars, the house, the nice things. While I say I'd be happier with a simpler life, would I? Or would I long for all these "things" once I gave them up?

I know I'm young enough that I can stop at any moment. I can say feck it and move where ever I want. Yes, there are going to be consequences, some that aren't going to be pleasant, but that option is always there. Am I afraid of doing that? Am I afraid of not having these things?

All I know is I can't wish my days away any longer. And I want you to be sure you don't either.

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