Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Like Sands Through The Hour Glass...

I made the mistake of signing up for this wedding website. Who am I fooling I signed up for like three. Anyway, I was excited, I just got engaged, I wanted to grab the bull by the horns. Little did I know that these online tools would drive me to insanity. No one warned me not to sign up for these "helpful online solutions" (yea it actually said that) b/c they are in fact not helpful in the least. They are stressful as shit. I don't know if you've used these little gems (TheKnot.com, WeddingDay.com, etc) but those assholes do a daily/weekly/monthly countdown of where you are and how far behind schedule you are currently running. I shit you not, the day I signed up for TheKnot.com I was 96 tasks behind schedule. How the f is that even possible? I mean at that point I hadn't even set my wedding date yet. Literally that thing sent me an email every single day adding another task to my overdue list, creating one small heart palpitation at a time.

I decided I by no means needed a daily reminder, so I changed it to weekly, that should help right? WRONG BITCH! It only made it worse. So instead of one a time, they were added 7 at a time. Sweet jezus in the morning. I abandoned ship. I went to WeddingDay.com. I figured they couldn't be as bad as TheKnot.com b/c they were run by David's Bridal. And lets speak on the real here, David's is a little ghetto. So my boushie ass thought if I went a little ghetto I wouldn't be so high strung. WRONG AGAIN! If this thing sends me another email telling me how behind schedule I am and how little time I have until my wedding ("Megan, there are only 9 months, 1 week, and 1 day until your wedding!" <-- got that this morning) I will definitely become bridezilla.

I'm a project manager for Christ's sake. I'm one of the most organized people I know. And on the mornings I get those effing emails I literally scream at my iPhone "BITCH! You don't know my life!" I then start to panic that I'm never going to have enough time to plan my wedding. I call Coal Miner and whimper about my "extremely busy life" and mumble something about "not enough time, not enough time". Then I sigh loudly. He consoles me, tells me to calm down, explains I still have 9 months, 1 week, and 1 day until the wedding. I feel better. I hang up, then I get another email from another one of those sites and the evil cycle starts again. EFFFF YOOOUUUU WEDDING SITE!

Okay I'm done now. Moral of the story: should you happen to be getting married anytime soon DON'T SIGN UP FOR ANYTHING. Beeeleeee me, your life will be better off (not to mention your sanity and your fiance).

5 comments:

Don't I Know You? said...

elope.

Candice said...

Elope. Takes the stress right out of everything. Not to mention you can spend your money going on fabulous vacations instead of paying a ridiculous amount of money on a ceremony that lasts 15 minutes, for the rest of your life.

MDubs said...

The funny thing is neither of you knew the other one wrote the same thing. Sh!t! I shouldn't have put down my deposit on the venue. FML.

Serita13 said...

Here's a little heads up! When you get pregnant, don't sign up for TheBump.com who coincidently is affilitated with TheKnot.com. It's the same headache and past due tasks only you are hormonal! :)

Serita13 said...

Here's a little heads up! When you get pregnant, don't sign up for TheBump.com. Coincidently, it is affiliated with TheKnot.com. It's the same headache dealing with the past due tasks only you are hormonal!