Thursday, September 8, 2011

Yea Imma Do That Before Kiddos

News update - I'm getting married in 39 days. How da hail did that happen? 4 weeks? Sweet mother of all things holy I've got a sh!t load to do before the big day. That being said, here's a list of the Top 10 things I've decided that Coal Miner and I will hopefully take part in prior to me getting knocked up.

1. Go Skydiving - Fairly certain my mother would kick my a$$ if I went skydiving and I had a child. Mostly because I'm a little accident prone and she thinks I'm highly inclined to kill myself. You can't do that if you have kids. You have to be all responsible and stuff. So I need to jump out of a plane with a quickness.

2. Go Whitewater Rafting - see number one. And yes I can't believe I haven't done this at this point in my life either.

3. Do a triathlon - training for a triathlon is difficult, time consuming, and daunting when your single. I can't imagine what it would be like with a child. The thought of that actually makes me shudder.

4. Have sex in every room in the house...again...may times - Gone will be the days of getting in on where ever we feel like it. We better make the most of it and bang it out on the kitchen floor again.

5. Set my sights on that Director spot - I should probably start aiming a little higher than I have been in the past 3 months b/c I haven't thought once about getting promoted recently. Hey I've been planning my wedding and doing a full-time job so you STFU. I'm totally allowed to be a slacker right now.

6. Go to Bora Bora - I've said this once, imma say it again - my ass is going to Bora Bora before I push a kid out my vag.

7. Listen to awful dirty music in the car, at very high volumes - I'll probably be the parent whose daughter sings Britney Spears and Lady Gaga, but I try and think highly of myself at times. I try and think I'll be good and only listen to the Christian channel or talk radio when rugrats are present. If that really is the case then I'm going to blast BritBrit on the way home. Sing my little heart out. Repeat ever dirty word she says. And then sing it again. Rock on!

8. Go on a road trip - I've been in the car with my nieces and nephews. I love them. I do. But the constant talking, the cartoons, the "I've gotta pee"s, the fighting, the crying, the screaming. And that's only been for like 30 minutes in a car. I don't even want to start to envision a 10 hour drive to Florida for our family vacation. It just sounds like a beta blocker and glass of wine moment.

9. Snuggle more - I'm so exhausted lately that I just kind of go with the flow. Wake up, go to work, go running, eat some dinner, go to bed. I hardly ever think about snuggling up to Coal Miner without any interruptions. I shall do that this evening.

10. Get married - Yea I should probably get through my wedding before I start making these kinds of lists huh? Speaking of that wedding, its really starting to become a drag planning this thing. I should have just ponied up the $7k and hired a wedding planner. WTF was I thinking?!?!?


Homey said...

I'll do white water rafting, Bora Bora or that cross-country RV roadtrip with you!

Anonymous said...

Kids go to bed at 7:30-8PM. I'm sure that if you tried hard you could get satisfaction from a mere 4-hour baby makin' session.

Also go to grad school if you have even the tiniest inkling to do so.