Wrote a song bout, like to hear, here it go

Everyone keeps telling me "Its not you Megan. Its just...its just...them." I'm really starting to think that I'm right, it is me. I know self-loathing is just so Kurt Cobain, but honestly, I think it might actually be good ole moi. Some days I could give a sh*t less and some days it really bothers me. I think the closer my birthday gets each year I start to flip the F out. I don't know why my birthday creeps me out so much. I honestly could care less about getting older. I actually welcome my 30s. At least I won't have people continually say "but you are soooo young" or "you're just a baaaby" [ps I just heard "Maybe the Dingo ate your baby" when I wrote that..in my head of course]. So really, it must be me. What am I doing wrong? Does my personality suck? Am I too forward? I mean I'm a go get 'em type gal. I guess that could be a turnoff for some huh? Well crap, what am I supposed to do? I need constructive feedback people. Tell me the truth, you know I can handle it [and throw that sh*t right back in your face later, lol, kidding].

Have you heard those annoying Jerry's Subs commercials on the radio? I swear to the heavens above they are like nails on a chalkboard for me. I can't handle them. Stupid Sarah Palin and Bill Clinton and Obama impersonations. I can't change the channel fast enough when they start airing. Perhaps I should look into that satellite radio after all. Or maybe I should just stop being so lazy and grab my ipod before I head out in the morning. Seriously though, sh*t isn't funny so please get a new steeze Jerry's, thanks.

So I received this job offer last week (or maybe it was the week before, my God all of my weeks are running together). So we go through this whole process of negotiating back and forth and what not and I finally accept their offer and then they rescind my offer b/c of my start date...which was 5 days after the date they wanted. Seriously? No, seriously? I finally thought I had a chance of escaping Hades Haven, but I was incorrect. Being that Lucifer himself is in charge I don't know how I thought that to be possible.

I'm contemplating driving home this weekend, but its SUCH A DRAG. A few hours in a car by yourself is nice. You relax, you sing, you talk to yourself, its just silent...and that's nice, no buzz of fluorescent lights, no tapping of keyboards, and no constant freeway noise b/c well you ARE the freeway noise. But 7 hours in a car by yourself, in traffic none the less, is like sitting through a Yani concert. I mean you literally want to just get out and walk. Plus the drive back to DC you are just waiting for that moment when the little traffic line turns from green, to yellow, to the dreaded red on your GPS. I have such a love/hate relationship with the 757. I love the beach and I miss my family and friends, but it just isn't a quick trip during the summer months and it seems to rain/be cloudy on the weekends I'm there to bronze the crap out of my body. What gives 757, huh?

I'm dumping my thoughts, is that obvious or what? Work was totally manageable this week, that was NIIICCEEE. I haven't had a manageable week in months. I left at like 5 yesterday and I thought I actually started looking behind me to see if anyone was watching. Oh then I had the chance to go running in the pouring rain and it was fantabulous. I was muddy and drenched, ahhh it was wonderful.

I need a new hobby, any ideas? I was thinking sky diving or rock climbing or ANYTHING. I'm so fugging bored. I need something to do and I'm sick of spending money on food and drinks, that's only making me fat [or at least have a complex that I'm fat]. And don't you dare say scrap booking. I'm not from Wisconsin, nor am I overweight, married, or friend-less. I just need something to do in my spare time besides running. I could get a dog, but that's a lot of work. LIKE A LOT. Maybe a cat? Litter box, where would I put it? I need suggestions, HEEELLLPPPP.