Monday, September 10, 2007

The 2007 Funk

So, I'm in a funk. I've actually been in a funk for a while (hence the headline) and I can't seem to get myself out of it. My roommate noticed, and called me out on it, my family noticed, and called me out on it, and today my boyfriend noticed, and called me out on it. I'm not the same as I used to be. I feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders at all times and I'm starting to wonder if its just me...am I making things way more complicated than they need to be? Maybe I just think too much? Maybe I'm over thinking? Maybe, I just need to make some decisions...maybe, all of these maybes could just take a hike for a day or two?!?!

Sadly, gone are the days where I could just blow it all off, have a drink and wait for the next day to arrive. Unfortunately for me, I'm just too grown up for that. But maybe I'm too grownup. I mean everyone around me is so grownup that I've forced myself to become this aging woman. But I'm only 27! No I hear you, its really not that young...believe me, I know. But I just wonder, what if I decided to tell my funk to take a hike. If I told everyone that questions my every move to go take a hike, what if I just said fug it and lived my life by the day and not by the calendar? Would that make it better? I find it highly unlikely.

See, I'm a worrier....my mother is a worrier and its one of the traits I inherited from her. I worry about everything, especially about death. I mean what if I die tomorrow, who will come to my funeral? Believe it or not, I've actually made a list of the individuals I feel would attend (guess what, if you aren't on that list we probably haven't spoken in a while, lol). Isn't that sick? But its real...I'm worried about my job, about my relationship, about my friendships, about my skin, about my clothes, my bank account, my car, my hair, my weight, my parents, my grandmother, my family's health, freak accidents, YOU NAME IT I'M WORRIED ABOUT IT!

But I realize you can't go through your life worrying, so tonight, after a lot of crying and a little bit of Britney Spears (and her very timid comeback) I realized I HAVE to get out of this funk! And the only way I'm going to do it is if I stop worrying about what everyone else thinks, about my next move, about my career, about EVERYTHING and just live. I'm just going to seriously L-I-V-E. But I'm forewarning you, I'm pretty sure "just living" involves a little sky diving!!!

2 comments:

Homey said...

skydiving is amazing...and will at least refresh you for a little bit ;)

Anonymous said...

Hi, very interesting post, greetings from Greece!